Vandals have once again declared open hostilities against public plumbing at Smithville Lake, and on Dec. 1, the men’s restroom at Sail Boat Cove became the latest casualty in what officials are calling “an ongoing and deeply personal feud with toilets.”
Clay County Parks employees arrived to discover a scene best described as a crime drama reenactment sponsored by bad decisions: a destroyed toilet, a stall door ripped directly out of a concrete wall, and light fixtures smashed—apparently to ensure the devastation could be properly admired in the dark.
County Parks Director John Davis estimated the damage at about $500 in parts, plus labor, bringing the grand total to roughly $1,500—or, in county terms, “money we definitely planned to spend on something else.”
“The men’s side will be down for several weeks,” Davis said, confirming that the restroom will now enjoy an extended sabbatical. “It’s a burden to the staff because we have other things we are doing—like maintaining parks that haven’t been assaulted.”
Davis explained that fall and winter are usually catch-up seasons for repairs, equipment maintenance, and basic park survival. Unfortunately, public bathrooms continue to refuse cooperation.
This marks yet another chapter in what Davis described as a “tough year,” noting that in June, vandals hit five bathrooms by breaking toilets with fireworks—an activity scientists have yet to classify as either entertainment or thought.
Repairing the damage is especially costly because the bathrooms are concrete and coated with waterproof paint, which, unlike vandals, is not cheap.
“We have a line item for maintenance in the budget,” Davis said, “but it includes everything, and stuff like this is unexpected and drains that fund.” He added that officials have no idea who’s responsible. “It could be kids. It could be kids influenced by something on TikTok. We just don’t know.”
Authorities confirmed that “TikTok” is now officially listed as a possible accomplice.
Davis emphasized that no one wants to see parks treated this way, gently reminding the public that the facilities belong to everyone, including people who prefer their restrooms upright and functional.
“These are everybody’s parks,” he said. “We want people to use our parks and enjoy their time—preferably without needing a construction crew afterward.”
The destruction hasn’t been limited to Sail Boat Cove. Trailhead bathrooms, the Crows Creek shower house, and even a historic plaque at Rocky Hollow Park in Excelsior Springs—installed in the early 1970s and apparently too tempting to leave alone—have also been hit.
According to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office, the latest restroom rampage rises to the level of felony property damage, officially elevating toilet vandalism into the realm of serious crime.
Sheriff’s Office public relations manager Sarah Boyd and Davis are now working to install security cameras throughout affected areas.
“We don’t want to say where the cameras are going,” Davis said, “but they are being installed.”
Sources confirm the cameras will be placed somewhere vandals least expect: near the things they keep destroying.
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