William Jewell Active Shooter Alert

 Former William Jewell Student Vows Mayhem, Inspires City-Wide Game of ‘Where’s Waldo: Felon Edition’

June 23, 2025-LIBERTY, MO — In an impressive display of post-college career ambition, a former William Jewell College student decided to skip the whole “resume” thing and go straight to issuing violent threats to his alma mater.

At 9:45 p.m. on June 21, Liberty Communications received a delightful call from someone claiming to be on the Jewell campus, promising to “start shooting” at a specific building — presumably not out of academic frustration but, who knows, finals week is stressful. The Liberty Police promptly responded to the scene and discovered — shocker — the caller wasn’t even on campus. Not even close. Not even in the same ZIP code.

Captain Matt Kellogg assured the public that, while the threat was terrifying, it was also geographically inconvenient. “The suspect phoned it in — literally,” Kellogg said, likely while wondering how many more “not actually there” threats he’ll be dealing with this summer.

In response, the College leadership sprang into action, initiating the emergency protocol known as Send More Cops and Cancel Class, which honestly works just as well for threats as it does for snow days.

With help from every agency short of NASA, law enforcement launched an epic manhunt that finally spotted the suspect… casually hanging around a business by I-35, presumably enjoying a pre-felony snack. A daring police pursuit ensued, only to be called off due to the suspect's impersonation of a Fast & Furious extra.

After a full day of “enhanced security” and very nervous undergrads, the college closed its campus entirely on June 22 — which was probably the highlight of the week for any student with overdue homework.

Finally, in a move that surely surprised no one, the Missouri Highway Patrol caught up with the suspect near Sedalia on June 23. Because nothing says “I’m definitely going to get away with this” like heading west on I-70 in a car cops are literally hunting.

Police say the investigation is ongoing, the suspect’s name remains a mystery for now (though he’s reportedly very proud of his criminal hide-and-seek performance), and extra officers remain at William Jewell, just in case another former student has ideas about creative alumni engagement.

Classes will resume as normal once everyone calms down, or when the police run out of caution tape — whichever comes first.